unsung heroes

Didn't realise how much the news earlier was going to affect me. I've always maintained that I'd accept the outcome with the same humour either way, obviously I wanted to be successful but realised given the circumstances I knew I may not be. I still thought if it went against me there were plenty other things I could turn my hand to. It was only today when faced with the reality of the situation that I began to comprehend just how much this means to me. I need to pick apart why that is and whether the hatred of my current role is intertwined. Maybe then I can begin to reassess and redirect my energies. Today, however, everything began to unwind in front of me and I found myself reeling from the news. Having absorbed it (or so I thought) I then returned to work for an hour before realising that the sinking feeling was getting worse, that I felt like I was being crushed by it. I made my excuses and bolted home where I knew Carla would be during her lunch. She read my face and was perfect, I was destroyed. I've complained a lot since being here and she's supported me regardless but today she excelled herself and did everything possible. I can't be devastated for long with someone like that beside me.

My rock, mi novia, mi amor.

bad to worse

When it looked like it would all get better it hasn't. Hating my job, really struggling with it and can't determine why which is incredibly frustrating. Then discover that been knocked back by Southampton Uni, that's now 3 out of 4 have turned me down, only Newcastle remains. Gutted. Grinding on and no bike. Suck it up.

In the name of the wee man......

Must vent. Can't sleep. Stupid late and comp is on mute with the brightness waayyy down. Can hear it whirr away when open new apps. Maybe that's my imagination. Trying not to wake Carla but figure I may have done that when made a racket openin bedrom door. Sorry the nov. Found out that my bike is cursed. Waited 9 months to get it initially, moved to Spain and now find out it will cost over £200 to ship it here! *sigh* at least Carla is entertained by the twists of fate I seem to encounter, be it bikes or just life in general. As long as she's happy. Had at least 18 ideas for getting my bike out or finding a substitute but only a few made it past the filters that separate mouth from brain. (These are necessary for someone of my disposition and fail so often that people question if I even have them) The strongest contenders, as if anything thought up at half 2 in the am is remotely feasible during daylight hours, are that I wait for my family to come out in April and bring it. This benefits from simplicity but strains my already thin patience. Or through newly made friends in Madrid can solicit a man with a lorry to bring it to Madrid. Again relatively straightforward but may also be April before it would happen. Potentially might be able to borrow a demo bike from Trek out here until come back/get bike brought out in April. Sounds good but how likely, even with the Spaz's intervention? Finally (for now) I have been offered, very generously I should add, a bike to borrow by Krien (granted proper name privileges here) which he would send from France. However, in a twist of genius/madness I have asked if he still has an old steel hardtail I know he once owned. which he could send with fork and front wheel. i could then get my finishing kit sent out from home (and get my new ss 240 on a *gulp* 26" rim)and use that until I go home for SSUK and bring my ferrous to Spain. Clearly the most complex and least sensible option and therefore the one I'm most keen to bring about. The benefits are small (except a Blizzard is the first bike I remember seeing and properly being obsessed by) and the complications multiple. Still if it was easy it wouldn't be as much fun, eh? I should have better things to worry about. I do have better things to worry about. This can't be normal. Still, who aspires to normality?

Ramblings

I have lots to say (as always) but will keep it concise for now. Stumbled on the pic below from tomicogs blog, he's developing a steel ss chainring for xtr. Sweet and take note that real men only need a slight chamfer rather than a semi circle on the 'ears' of their bastardised crank ;)

Watched Alien v Predator: Requiem today. It was pretty shite and although I'm a sucker for action trash I was a bit gutted to see the awesome originals shat upon by this horrific franchise. I still think Alien and Predator are fricking amazing films that still stand up really well against cgi action flicks of today. Yet the very same things that made (actually, makes) them such good films is that you hardly ever see what it is that's attacking. Admittedly this was probably in part because they couldn't effectively portray the horrors of a Giger inspired killing machine or an alien hunter but in the same way that Spielberg concedes that Jaws' suspense derives from faults with the model shark that made it an invisible yet omnipresent force in the film, so too do the above gain from hardly seeing the source of their fear. In AVPR, however, such fads are thrown to the wind and every lust for blood and continued shots of the fights are satisfied to disappointing effect. Despite crossing some boundaries, seeing a kid attacked by a facehugger is pretty weird, its all a bit crap. Never mind at least Cloverfield utilises the sense of unknown to good effect. A modern Blair Witch but still good and manages not to succumb to giving an overview of the situation at any point. Phew! If that's a short entry I better not write a long one. Besos!

Why you shouldn't have!

Sweeeeet! Bolt through 29er reba would be awesome

must resist.....

After reading a post on singletrack about a new jones bike being bought I have to quell the urge to sell my gears and splurge on some jones bars. Used them for a while in Scotia and loved them, sure you look like you're wielding a moose's head but they work. Comfy position for long stretches (not that I did any) excellent for really yarking on when you have a nasty climb and good for getting weight back on descents. But bloody expensive, bout £200 new! If I was sure I'm man enough to get by without gears out here (no one, no one rides single speed here) then I'd get some. Still once I get out riding I'll soon find out and some actual training would probably help.

They don't look that bad anyway.....

Bikes are the cure

Feeling much better now, still no bike but bit more chilled out bout things and having the internet has made a huge difference. Plus it's the weekend and Carla's about so I've got someone to talk to (argue with) in English. Been trawling through the nahbs pics and some weird, some old school but pretty much all amazing. Particularly like the eccentric dropouts seen similar before, not sure if from the same company though, but seems like it would save a fair amount of weight over an ebb.

Indy fab's bikes are as awesome as ever, a roadster (sporting shimano 29er wheels), a track bike that has a top tube protector built in and a carbon-titanium bmx!

blue without you

Although I've recounted my elation below, the first few weeks here have been pretty tough. I've been in positions of isolation before and though certainly this trip has been made infinitely better by having Carla to help me (constantly) it has been fucking hard. I managed to get work really quickly but it wasn't going to start for a couple of weeks so I got in touch back home to arrange to get my bike out sooner than first planned. I knew it was a hassle for those involved but I also knew how big a difference it would make to being here, especially once Carla started working. Ideally I would have brought it out myself but carrying my life in 2 bags and getting a lift to the airport fro a mini owner it was never going to work. I know from experience relying on others when you're most desperate is terrible, the feeling of weakness ad inability to help yourself but I didn't see another option. Then I was told my start date at work had been pushed back to the 25th and I knew sorting the bike would be even more vital to maintaining my sanity. All seemed good and an alteration to the plan to make life easier to those back home seemed to imply the transfer would be even easier. 2 weeks later it doesn't look like it will appear for at least a week by which time may as well wait for my new wheel to be built. It seems petty and childish to be so upset not to have a bike, after all I'm in a new country but having no money (neither of us have been paid yet) not speaking the language and not really knowing anyone so having no one to talk to while Carla is at work has been shit. I've been running whenever possible but I can only really manage that for 90 min at a time and I ended up struggling to walk last week as I'd been running for the first 3 days. Thankfully we got the internet today and I can at least go online to chat to folk, look up stuff like the news and understand what the fuck people are saying. All in all pretty gutted, its shitey for those that have to do the graft but i figured someone would be decent enough to take half an hour and pull it all together or if not then to at least let me know what was happening. However, someone has seen my petulant whining as the little scream for help it is and despite having a proper shite day has stepped up to the plate to say he'll sort it out. This despite having a pile of his own shit to get through and his biggest headache with uni to date. I'm not sure he'll have time to sort it out but it means a hell of a lot that he'd try, the force is strong in this weasel and he's my hero for it.

All change

My life out here has changed dramatically in the last 2 days. Yesterday the plumber was round to sort out the washing machine and while he was here rectified the crap tap in the kitchen (it produces less water than Southern England during a hosepipe ban) which has made a huge difference. Who knew that such a small change could elicit such a response! And then today a guy from Orange installed our internet which means I have access to such luxuries as the news. (only found out when I was in London at the weekend that Beadle had died) So all in all a pretty successful week for me although the bike still hasn't been sent and probably won't be now until after I start work, still it is a massive job to pack a bike into a box and call DHL.

Social(ly inept) drinker

Into month 2 and Tr's will seems to be holding strong (tr) well done! Though the toughest tests lay ahead, the running (wheres the link to your training btw?) is going well and the beer monkey is dormant for now.

Mi casa, su casa

Added some pictures I took the first night we arrived in the flat, honestly looks cleaner now! It's possibly not that clear how it all links up but first pic is our lounge which you see as you open our door (its on same wall as window) then there's our kitchen which is sort of in the lounge but separated by those folding doors. (sounds crap but is lot better than some kitchens Carla saw) Then there's a pic of our lounge from the kitchen, please slip on if I'm boring you, and then the corridor that leads to our bedroom and the bathroom. So it's kind of compact but in an excellent area and we can walk pretty much to all the places we need to be plus I went running last couple of days and found the big park in Madrid which is nice. Beer is cheap here and every time you have a drink you get free tapas (and decent stuff too most of the time) and food is cheap though we've had to curtail our eating out due to finances. Anyway this is dull so why not come out and see it for yourself?

Brrrrrrrr

I must be adapting fairly quickly as I'm feeling the cold and its so much warmer than home (and a lot better weather judging by the pics) Went for a run today in an attempt to find our local park where I can cycle. It's pretty big but I managed to take many wrong turns, in the end I followed another runner and found an overpass I'd never have discovered on my own. It's pretty cool, fairly flat but definitely singletrack and a fair amount of riders and runners. Still no sign of the prostitutes (which is a good thing) and def potential to have a wee event.....The Korean tells me that there was a UCI event there a while back but think the prostitutes were a bit too "visual" for many! Ah well need to go, waiting on mi novia and need to sort out my contract with work, besos!

¡Welcome to Madrid!

Still no internet in the flat but got a phone line so just waiting for orange to sort out web. Was offered a decent job teaching English on Thursday but have knocked it back and going to work for a language school instead, not as good money but better place to work. Also only working 25 hours a week at least intially! The downside is that don´t start until the 18th and have no bike. Though I have found our local shop :) Tiny wee place that looks rubbish until you notice several dura ace cassettes and sidi shoes lying on the shelves. Still researching somewhere to ride and tempted to fly back to collect my bike but checked flights and too expensive. Anyway its pretty nice here weather is cold at the moment but will get warmer to the point of scorchio in the summer which for someone as sweaty as me might be a bad thing...I should probably go make tea for Carla now seeing as she started work today, ah well. ¡Hasta luego!