Meet the gang

This is my impression of G using the Simpsons character maker



and Alec



Christoff



That man Jam



and finally my good lady

My first day as a graduate

Ah well it appears that my grade is in fact true! No sooner had I recieved my degree and sat down that I piled into it to check it all again but yup its there in black and white. A sigh of relief and the realisation is starting to creep in, fuck yes. On a more annoying note I've discovered I fly back from a stag do on Monday night not Monday afternoon as I'd assumed. (This clashes with my Grad Ball the same night) As Fraz once told me, "If you assume you make an ass of you and I." Yes, quite.

So how am I spending my first day as a fully fledged graduate? Well I'm in my boxers typing this for a start (Why the fuck am I up so early?) but also looking forward to flying to Riga with my brothers for a weekend stag. Also after seeing G's Simpsons character I decided to give it a crack myself, so so much fun! You can leave your verdicts on the comments, I've even included quarg.

what the f u c k ?

What a week! Was planning to post a single speed race report but I'll have to summarise: Chris and I attacked Matt the spaz at the race start I sat on him while Chris stole and threw away one of his shoes, we then attacked him out on the course chargin him down despite gruesome hangovers from the night before [sidenote on the night before: plenty cider, free hotdogs- "we work in the bike trade, we pay for nothing" was the battle cry, bike jousting, more cider inc Dr Jon's downin a half pint before you get a full pint rule, watching Alec take the full force of an impact with a van so he could steer Chops' steed away to safety, getting free Bonty stuff, watching Dr Jon joust unsuspecting (non-single speed) bystanders and trying to navigate our way back to our tent and then trying to sleep through Chris' IMMENSE snoring.] So it was after I threw up twice and struggled to stay upright and Chris strained to be able to move without getting cramp that we dragged ourselves to the startline. However seeing the cocky wee bugger fired us right up and we both made it through a lap (though i spent most of it alone after getting my crotchless jeans caught on my saddle and upending trying to pass someone) It was all good and an a-mazing weekend all in all, drinking, riding, mates-what else can you ask for?

So it was with total nonchalance that i checked my results on Thursday night, more trying to determine what I got for my dissertation rather than any expectations of a finding an overall mark (Joint Honours course put up results at different times it seems) I was dumbstruck when I found this:



I called Carla and got her to check and the Alec for the same reason. I still can't take it in and I won't believe it until I get my bit of paper next week. Haven't had a big night for that reason but been in the pub last few nights and ride today was great fun. The day after my graduation I fly to Riga for my brother to be's stag do, the day I get back I have my Grad Ball. It's gonna be very very messy, I can't wait.

This is my fixie, even Carla likes it.

Kirk and Spock, mano a mano

Three friends, two races and only one gear

What a weekend! So much fun and it's all still filtering through in my head. Where to start? Well despite Chris sleepin in (well it was a half 5 wake up call) we got checked in without any problems and arrived in a very warm Brizzle in the late morning. Nervous rebuilding of bikes ensued but they all survived the trip intact so we headed to meet the Spaz for a swally at Mud Dock. The shop's been revamped and a mezzanine floor added and it looks incredible, it oozes quality kit and still maintains a relaxed atmosphere. We were loving the bikes that customers rolled in on, bikes that most people have as their 'proper' bike were bein used as hacks by some folk. We drooled for quite a while before getting a jar and some food.

After some revision to plans we decided to camp on Friday night. Thank fuck because it was quite a ride from Carli's house to the race site but after a few beers and a barbecue the four of us crashed out in the same tent. (I needed body warmth as I'd not brought any sleeping bag or thermarest)

Race day saw me huddled amongst hunners of riders for a Le Mans start and after managing to find my bike I entered the inevitable bottlenecks as loads of riders-tried to squeeze through the same wee spaces. A lap later and I felt ok but not great but felt relaxed as it seems to take me a good hour to get into any ride at the moment. We'd decided to do 2 lap sets and my second was similar to the first, less crowded but still lots of bodies on the course and with so much singletrack it was difficult to pass anyone. I swung into the start/finish and tagged out feeling good but pretty thirsty. The day was so fucking hot and anyone who has seen me in a moderately warm room will testify to my incredible ability to sweat so I was pretty nervous about staying hydrated. Luckily our pit bitch Alec was able to carry bikes and assist in refueling. Chris charged round in scary quick times so all too soon I was back out on the bike plodding around in 45ish min laps to Chris' 35 min average.* I was having fun though and I really enjoyed the rigid fork, made you think so much about lines and forced you to try and stay smooth but after 4 laps I needed to switch to the rebas as my back was killing me and my hands were getting blistered from being battered so much. After coming in from my 6th lap I tagged out to a still eager Chris and went to collapse somewhere, I just felt totally fucked. I'd managed to empty a camelbak earlier in the race and my lack of strength was made worse in the heat which I really struggled with and at this stage I desperately needed proper food rather than energy bars and sweets. I can't really remember what I ate/did/saw directly after this lap, there were definitely noodles but beyond that I draw a blank. Chris came back after his 2 for a rest and was putting in quick times despite getting a puncture! We both felt pretty miserable by that point with cramp becoming a feature of any movement, Chris' 'fish out of water ' a definite highlight. Alec wrestled our limbs which helped but neither of us could reach below our knees without our bodies twinging into spasm. Burgers followed and Chris got a quick massage before 'manning up' for a 7th lap. Fair play to him I felt awful, I hummed and ha'ed about a 7th lap but it was never really on the cards for me, I just felt too fucked. Chris came back from his 7th without his sunnies, a crash had shattered them on his face! We called it a day and went to enjoy the rest of the event.

Spaz had managed 19 laps in his single speed solo event which was enough to win by a decent margin but fell shy of the overall win (he still placed 5th!) Carlien was racing as part of a ladies 4 and the responsibility of the last lap (anyone coming in after the 12 hr mark wouldn't have their lap counted!) fell to her. She rocketed round and got in 2 minutes before the buzzer securing second place for her team, well done! There then ensued the 'preparations' for the single speed national race. Not so much of a race as an excuse to ride bikes and drink we were all given a special one-off pint glass in which to get a free pint of cider and another of ale. This came on the back of a few stellas and was chased by the same. At which point Shaggy brought the cider keg as there was still loads left, however, Dr Jon made it compulsory for anyone who wanted another pint to down a half pint of it first. So we did. I think that's when it started to get messy. It was defininately after that when Charlie the Bike Monger said I had to take part in some bike jousting because 'i was wearing glasses'.....

*Had a look at lap times and 34 minutes average would bemore accurate, even after a puncture Chris lapped in 43 minutes!