anticipation

Was it the Bounty ad that used "just anticipating" as a line?

Anyway, just waiting for the last email so I can get on with my life but as I sit in my jim-jams drinking tea and watching the sun stream in I get the feeling I can't really lose. I'll be gutted if it's another no not least because I've invested so much in the whole process (6 months, 3 interviews and far too much cash) but also because in the last interview I'd convinced myself this is what I want to do. In Newcastle I felt like it was the last thing I'd want to do.

However, if it's not to happen then so be it. I've been through worse (losing mobile phone down lift shaft this week is a case in point) and in every* case I've ended up better off. Kicked out of Art school, kicked off uni course, almost kicked out of uni, company worked for went bust, the list is as long as it is embarassing but in every instance I managed to find some silver lining. Today it seems even clearer, I live in a warm climate with good friends and a lady that funds my extravagant lifestyle. I get decent money for something I mostly enjoy doing and I have enough free time to pursue other interests.** Not really a bad scenario ;)

*So far, this could be challenged on a monthly basis the way my luck splutters hot and cold.

**Some might say obsessions. (They'd be wrong obviously)