Well holiday time is almost over, first year exam results are out on Thursday and my temp agency haven't yet found me a job so I have a lot of time to think about potential scenarios. I know military veterans can have flashbacks but is it possible to have a flashforward? (and I don't mean the TV show) I find myself visualising having to go through all my notes, all the lecture slides and all the PBL cases for what will be the third time in an exercise in mental pain. I can already see the same words coming up again, skipping over parts that I sort of know not able to see it with fresh eyes and inevitably missing things. I can already feel that quiet discomfort in the pit of my stomach when I question myself about where I went wrong in the initial exam, trying to put it out of my mind, trying to focus, trying to look ahead. I can almost taste the beers I'll miss out on as I refuse myself time to relax or enjoy myself while I prepare for resits. The lie ins that will disappear if I have to start my studying all over again.
I really hope I don't have resits.
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